She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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