life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize