ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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