I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize