the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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