we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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