I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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