Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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