So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize