omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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