I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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