btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize