oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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