Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.

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(631): She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best. http://tfl.nu/b2i1

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

sounds like you fell off the wagon.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

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(617): sounds like you fell off the wagon. (1-617): fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon. http://tfl.nu/7sjj

Replies (5) Good night (4222) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

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(651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg

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(204): View more from Manitoba

When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?

(204): View more from Manitoba

I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...

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(204): When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends? (1-204): When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why? (204): I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well... http://tfl.nu/o1jd

Replies (21) Good night (7529) Bad night (693)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I checked into jail on foursquare

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(202): I checked into jail on foursquare http://tfl.nu/tcv9

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(540): View more from Virginia

She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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(540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.

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(423): You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti. http://tfl.nu/u3mr

Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (1850) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

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(608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave http://tfl.nu/ay74

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(518): View more from New York

I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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(518): I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine? http://tfl.nu/b7b9

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note

(1+44): View more from

Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!

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(+44): Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note (1+44): Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud! http://tfl.nu/x31j

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(575): View more from New Mexico

It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

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(575): It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest. http://tfl.nu/dnlf

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(970): View more from Colorado

The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful

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(970): The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful http://tfl.nu/mqfz

Replies (7) Good night (629) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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(512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke

Replies (13) Good night (454) Bad night (1690)
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(512): View more from Texas

They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"

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(512): They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do" http://tfl.nu/5kcu

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(818): View more from California

Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."

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(818): Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy." http://tfl.nu/kcv8

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