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She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I checked into jail on foursquare
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
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