"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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