It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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