He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How's work?
Spinning.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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