just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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