Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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