so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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