I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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