this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize