It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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