We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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