This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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