Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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