I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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