I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize