im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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