just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize