You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize