After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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