I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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