what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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