oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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