wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize