smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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