You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
