feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
