Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
