well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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