2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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