everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize