I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
thus making me awesome and them whores
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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