yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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