i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize