What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
