Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
