ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize