you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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