Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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