I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize