but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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