I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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