So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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