the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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