dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize